This blog is an excerpt from the Program/Book Dynamic You from the Pillar called Prioritized. For more information about the book and to join the program go to: http://www.dianerolston.com/dynamicyou.html
Life has many demands, and all of them, including our loved ones, are competing for our attention. All of them deserve our full attention when we are with them, but prioritizing yourself is crucial. It’s actually a form of self-love. When you love yourself enough to decide that you too will receive an equal amount of time, energy, and resources—know that you deserve it.
A lot of people love themselves, but that doesn’t mean they prioritize themselves. I asked the ladies in my first Dynamic You™ Program and women in my audiences if they prioritized themselves, and 80% of the women I talked with said that they were at the bottom of their priority list. About 10% said they weren’t even on their own list at all. What’s that about?
The issue I found is that women feel it’s selfish to prioritize themselves, that they fulfill a role or a job title, meaning they have to sacrifice themselves to do a good job. But that’s simply not true. They don’t need to. There is a balance within all of it. Women are acknowledged for being selfless, giving, loving, doing for others, nurturing. It’s part of the role we play as women.
What’s getting in the way? Shortage of sleep? The agendas of others? Lack of self-care? Monitor your routine so that you can see what adjustments need to be made.
A client of mine was sick and didn’t feel she had the time to prioritize herself or her health. Instead, she felt she needed to focus on getting things done for other people because some of her time was lost due to her sickness. When she started to feel better, she felt the need to catch up with her work, housework and errands rather than exercise. This is the time she needed to prioritize herself. Basically, you are never too busy for five minutes. Five minutes is manageable. If you don’t make the time for yourself, you will fill it with other things regardless.
I must clarify the difference between self-sacrifice and choosing yourself. There’s a very big difference. A lot of people sacrifice themselves for others, but actually choosing yourself is the way to go. I’m not in any way saying to be selfish, but instead to be “self-full”. Full of love and care for ourselves, which means prioritizing ourselves.
The truth is we can’t give unless we have something within ourselves from which to give. You can’t withdraw from a bank account if you have never deposited. Unless you are self-full, you won’t have a full cup, and without a full cup you’ll have nothing to pour out for others. You’ve probably heard many people say this before in personal development, but I’ll say it again, in case of an emergency on an airplane, you put your oxygen mask on first, and then you help others with theirs. We feel it’s okay to do that in an emergency situation, so why not in day-to-day life?
In life, very rarely do we give ourselves the time, attention, and care that we need. I know because I am guilty of it too. I have to put myself in check. You know that before you can be there for anyone else, you have to be there for yourself. I’ve seen it many times over. And if you’re not choosing yourself, other people will choose themselves over you. I’ll say that again. Other people will choose themselves over you. Some people say, “Oh, he walks all over me,” or, “They just expect this of me,” or, “No one ever offers.” Well, if you have said any of these then you’ve trained them to be that way. You’ve trained them not think of you as a priority because maybe you don’t believe you need to be a priority.
If you’re not choosing yourself, they’re not choosing you either. So if you’re not choosing you, and they’re not choosing you, no one is choosing you. That is a sad realization.
How Do You Go About Prioritizing Yourself?
Be clear about what you NEED and what you WANT in all areas of life. Then put those things into place and keep reviewing to make sure you have a full cup. If you’d like to see a difference in your energy and mood then do at least one thing a day to be Self-Full!
Share 1 thing below that you will do today to practice being self-full.