I’m not going to lie, one of the biggest struggles in my life at this moment is feeling a lack of purpose and feeling alone…I cannot decipher between the two or if they are different. I was hiking recently and the thought occurred to me, does one create the other, or is one the product of the other, or perhaps they are independent of themselves or none of the above. A brain twister to say the least.
I am not certain if it’s because I have no children, no one to take care of or focus my attention on, no one to worry and stress about, or perhaps it’s the fact that I don’t have a regular 9-5 job with a boss and somewhere to show up on a daily basis with co-workers and such.
Whatever it is, it’s always nagging at me, that feeling that things just aren’t right. Am I not doing enough with my life, contributing enough, helping enough, being enough, sharing enough. I mean, I know I’M enough, I just don’t feel like my existence is, well, enough! Do you ever feel that way?
I guess that’s one of the advantages of having kids, you get to leave a legacy, to pass down all you have learned along the way, to view life through the eyes of a child growing, to experience their highs, lows, failures, and successes. And, when they are all grown up, one is able to feel a sense of accomplishment and pride, like a pat on the back for a job well done and a heart full of love for something that is outside of yourself, but you would give your life for. Not having kids leaves me wondering who will remember me, who will pass on the lessons I have learned?
And that’s where the feelings arise from. Most of society has their purpose attached to family, raising their children to be good citizens, caring for each other and creating memories to cherish for years to come. These feelings of loneliness I am certain happen to everyone at some point in their lives, but it seems to me that knowing you have created something greater than yourself would be a great sense of relief knowing there are others who care for you. But I still wonder, is the loneliness a product of not having followed the traditional path, or is the feeling of questioning your purpose where the loneliness comes from?
Do you suffer from Compare-itis?
So much of how we view the world and ourselves lies in how much we compare ourselves to others. If we view others as more successful than us, it can lead us to believe we aren’t successful, or if all of our friends are married and we are single, it can lead us to feel like a failure in the relationship department. Life is like that. We tend to let the lives of others gauge how we feel about our own, and that is more often than not where the feelings of loneliness and feelings of lack of purpose come from.
Have you ever heard of the saying “focus on what you have, rather than what you don’t”? It has become a key part of my daily mindset work, always redirecting loneliness and lack of purpose-driven thoughts towards what I DO have in my life, what I have accomplished, those I can positively affect and how I can be more of service to others.
As a Wellness Professional I hope that I am able to help someone in some small way to better their lives and perhaps leave their own legacy of health to their family. I hope in some small way, those who read my blog posts get value and realize they aren’t alone in this world, that there are people who have the same thoughts and feelings that they do and that it’s okay to have bad days too.
Life isn’t about the big wins or following a mold, we are all different, with different paths, gifts, and talents to share with the world. When we allow ourselves to be okay with that, to truly be okay with our lives looking different then our neighbour next door, it allows for acceptance and love of ourselves. Focusing on what you do have, being grateful for the life you have created, to seeing the beauty in the difference, is essential being okay with the contrast and feelings that arise.
Know that you are never alone, I am here cheering you on, knowing that your greatest purpose in this world is right there in front of you, to love yourself without comparison and judgment….and a mirror never lies.
Monika Majnik is a Lifestyle Entrepreneur helping women create financial security. She has a background in Environmental Science, is a former Personal Trainer of 25 years and worked in the Vancouver movie industry, is a nutritional and weight loss Guru, and an expert in helping those diagnosed with SIBO or Leaky Gut find health again.
Her services can be found on her website along with her blog that includes a variety of topics ranging from breast implant illnesses to eating disorders. Monika also has free healthy recipes, workout routines, and offers a variety of courses geared towards goal setting and achieving!